Tis the season

Tis the Season Missing a loved one during the holidays.

My mother loved the holidays. She had decorations for every holiday you can think of. She enjoyed getting the family together, cooking and fellowshipping with family and friends. My mom dies in April of ovarian cancer and I really miss her, not just during the holidays but every day. It is very hard not to be able to just pick up the phone and call her, talk about what’s going on, get her guidance and advice and to just check in with home. Grief and depression are so personal and are a struggle for many people year round, but especially throughout the holidays.

Finding ways to copy with not only the pressures of the holidays, but also with this grief and despair is possible to do. My way of coping is to remember the reason for the holidays. This is not about us but is recognition for the sacrifices that were made so that we may have life and have it more abundantly. Thinking about my Mom, this is the same thing that she wanted for me and all of her kids.
Ways to Cope With Depression

1. Allow yourself the RIGHT to grieve. Give yourself time to mourn but don’t let it last forever. Take the time you need, but tell yourself that time does heal all wounds and the person you are mourning would not want you to stay in a state of mourning forever. Your best honor to them is to be the best that you can be.

2. Get it out in the way that is best for you. Fain a way to express yourself in your most creative way. If you have an artistic side let it assist you with overcoming your grief. For me reading, learning, writing and teaching does the trick. And don’t forget GOD in this equation. Your gifts of talent are a reflection of the love you can give back to HIM for how he has blessed you.

3. Surround yourself with your circle of love and trust. Recognize that no one goes through life alone but also recognize that love and trust are not intertwined. Know who you love and who you trust and that sometimes they are the same and sometimes not. If your circle is large, reevaluate those in your circle. My experience is that this circle should be very small and intimate.

4. And finally, focus on you. Try an exercise to do something in the memory of your loved you that you are missing and make this a tradition. This will keep their memory alive and allow you to honor them by always being a part of your holiday celebrations. Do what makes you happy? If you can’t answer the question of what makes you happy, then it is time to find the answer.